“I Want to Be Sexy”

Reading is sexy.

Somewhere partway into my European adventures, I started asking myself a simple question: what do you want? Today. This year. In your lifetime.

I started with what do you want today?, finding my answers were things like peace, German food, sticky rice, to go to bed early, to not rush, to enjoy the moment. Simple things that keep me balanced and make me happy on a day-to-day basis.

Then, I asked myself: what do you want this year?

The answers were mostly what you’d expect: to be mobile, to write stories, to be healthy and fit.

Finally, I asked myself what I wanted out of the next five years and on. And after such predictable responses as “to write another book” and “to see one of my books on the bestseller list,” the question made a subtle shift from what do you want? to who do you want to be?

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably know that what’s most important to me in this life is love. Loving my neighbor. Loving myself. Loving strangers. Even maybe loving my enemies.

But this time it wasn’t just, “I want to love.” I had another answer too. One that surprised me a little.

“I want to be sexy.”

After spending the whole summer surrounded by strong, independent, beautiful women, shifting my diet to better support my health, and having a sweet holiday romance, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to take a cue from those strong ladies. I wanted to feel healthy all the time. And, let’s face it, I want to be kissed on a mountaintop again.

I think I chose the word sexy because it’s the one word that best describes those powerful, strong, independent women I’ve been looking up to all summer. It describes how I felt in Switzerland.

That said, I should probably clarify. Because sexy means a couple different things. And I don’t mean that I need any more drunk men stopping by to discuss my body. And I’ve certainly seen enough low resolution photos of pubic hair.

What I mean when I say sexy is more all encompassing. I mean that…

Fitness is sexy.
I want to feel strong, like I did in Switzerland. I want to hike five hours straight up and still be capable of walking the next day. I want to kayak for two hours in the morning. I want to feel like anything is possible.

Independence is sexy.
I want to make my own decisions, to grow my business, to continue to live a self-sufficient, free, independent life.

Going for it is sexy.
I want to take chances. I want to apply for that European visa, even if everyone keeps telling me how hard it is to get. I want to challenge myself. I want to be confident.

Spontaneity is sexy.
I want to go without a plan. I want to take adventures as they come. I want to make new opportunities and take new opportunities. I want a little mystery in my life.

Cleverness is sexy.
I want to have insights and continue to make people laugh.

Hiking to 2,500 meters is really sexy.
Did I mention that I want to be strong?

So, when I say sexy, I mean exciting. I mean magnetic. I mean glamorous. I mean the kind of person who makes you feel like you could do anything, reach any height.

I want to be sexy.

What do you want to be?