life done write

Once upon a time, at a 20s themed holiday party held in the early part of February, a number of very fashionable, famous and fabulous persons were gathered.

They had gathered, as it were, to gamble, drink, have inexplicable gun fights and flirt shamelessly with each other.

Suddenly, shockingly and to everyone’s exceeding surprise…

a completely famous and musically talented band, which has been hired to play the gamble-fest…

was suddenly and inexplicably killed…

…due to poisoned face paint.

Did I mention that people were shocked and dismayed?

But, because they were all very motivated type people, they felt that they should do something about this situation. So they began looking for clues.

And thinking very very hard.

They concluded that there were some very shady characters at this party.

But, in the end, it’s always the one you would never suspect — isn’t it?

However, though unfortunate, no one could prove his guilt. And, so, everyone went for pizza.

The end.

Regarding the SuperBowl: my theory, carefully formed based on WAY TOO MUCH evidence is as follows:

This year, due to the economy’s sudden (not so sudden?) Tank, advertising agencies must have been forced to fire all of the legitimate talent in order to save money. And, so, the interns were elected to create all the low-budget SuperBowl commercials. All of which were massively disappointing. Almost, in fact, as disappointing as LOST.

From Very Clever Friend:
Not to offend the faithful among us, but one of Jen’s favorite
phrases is “I’m here doing God’s work, so I feel like I’m covered.”
Cute, right? Here are four examples of situations where she’s used
this:
1.After her motorcycle sped ahead of mine at 80km/hr around a blind
curve on the trans-African highway.
2.After me and everyone else in our organization confronted her about
her continued choice to sit in the front seat of van-taxis despite 90%
of Ugandan traffic accidents being head-on in those vehicles.
3.After going running alone in the dark along the main highway every
morning. She says, “God sees me to another day!”
4.After accepting a NEEDLE PRICK blood test at the ghetto-fabulous
government health center, where the lab is covered in dust and
mysterious goops. I asked, “did they at least take a new needle out
of a sterile package?” (most health centers do.) Her reply? “I didn’t
notice. I’m here doing God’s work, so I feel like I’m covered.”
I’m sorry, but unless God has a special place in His giant heart for
extremely stupid people I’m pretty sure he created reason for……….a
reason.

1. Security, I found the fugitive.

2. I don’t see the problem here. This is what I plan on having my five-year-old read…

3. Excuse me, I was sleeping.

A recap on how bad this place is to live. For all of you who might be considering renting at The Cherry Creek Club – you may want to reconsider.

1. Said Scary Neighbor Strikes Again

2. I Hate My Neighbors Parts One, Two and Three

3. Shaming FAIL: teenage boy littering in our yard

4. If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Roaches

5. Small Thing Conspiracies