Screaming Babies, Stinky Ladies, No Apostrophes Allowed

.One.
I am a genius.

I say this because I have just had an epiphany. And by just, I actually mean two days ago on a plane. But whatever. Still genius.

Okay, so the epiphany: what is it about airline travel that makes people the most miserable (aside from being in a middle seat between two very large people whose elbows happen to be causing bruising on your arms)?

That is right: screaming babies! You win a prize.

At first I was thinking, gee, would not it be nice if there were baby-free flights available. That would be stellar. Then I thought, the airlines might lose business or try to charge more for baby-free flying. So I rethought. And came up with the grand idea that people should be seated on airlines according to their annoyance probability factor. Aka. babies sit all the way in the back. Teenagers traveling in large groups sit in front of the babies. People who often complain and make a scene at the airlines get black-listed and have to sit in front of the teenagers. And professionals get the front of the plane.

I still might have to faintly hear a baby, but it is WAY WAY better than sitting next to one right in the center of the plane where everyone can hear it clearly.

See, told you. Genius.

.Two.
For those of you who do not do much by way of international travel, I feel the need to explain: international keyboards are set up massively differently than American keyboards. Therefore, please forgive my lack of apostrophes. I have no idea how to create one on this machine.

.Three.
The philosophy of Roommate 1 regarding traveling and cute dresses: “I pretty much just wear an outfit until it really smells. Then I switch.”

See what I have to put up with.