On Making Change Happen (Even When It Seems Impossible)

Mar 15, 2018    /    philosophy

It was January.

Cold, slushy winter in a small Colorado town where shop windows screamed “Pray for Snow!” and large men carried half-unholstered guns in the grocery store. We spent our days holed up by the fireplace, keeping warm; cooking chicken pot pies and whole roasted chickens in the spacious kitchen; working on projects and sometimes braving the cold for walks and cycle rides to the grocery store or the library.

It wasn’t a bad place. And, in fact, most of the time I love small towns and off-the-beaten-track home bases.

But this wasn’t the right time or right place for me.

And I wanted out.

You see, the primary reason we came back to the US for a few months was this: Chad wanted to network in person with other tech professionals. The secondary reason was to save money on accommodations, since his family had a vacation home that was just sitting there empty.

But by settling into the vacation home, solidly in the middle of nowhere, at least three hours from the nearest networking opportunity, we definitely were not making headway on that primary reason we’d come here.

We were saving money on rent, sure. But we were stuck. Not moving forward. Not making progress. Not meeting new people. Not connecting with in-person opportunities.

Just stuck.

And, at first, it didn’t even occur to me that we had any other options. After all, Chad was bootstrapping his new business. He needed the free rent. I needed to be with him. And until he signed a contract and felt less strapped, this was our option.

Right?

Except, no. Not right.

There are almost always options.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget. Because we’ve settled on a plan. “Once X happens, then we can do Y.” And we work toward and wait for X to happen.

But what if X doesn’t happen?

And what if we’ve actually made X more difficult with our plan?

The answer was to ditch the original plan and identify the problem we needed to solve.

In our case: we needed to be in a big US city with abundant networking opportunities. And we needed to do it without Chad having to spend money on rent.

And while that seriously limited our options, it didn’t destroy them.

The first thing that came to mind was housesitting. Could we find a free place to stay in Seattle or New York or San Francisco or Denver by offering to watch pets and water plants and shovel snow?

I spent the next week asking around, posting in groups, and talking to friends and friends of friends about possible opportunities.

None were a good fit.

But I wasn’t done trying to solve our real problem.

We needed to be in a large US city and Chad couldn’t contribute to the rent…but that didn’t mean I couldn’t. 

Could we find a place that I could afford on my own?

The next few weeks were full of conversations with potential roommates, research into neighborhoods, and at least one frustrated meltdown. Chad decided he could contribute, just less than usual, so we upped our budget. And in the end, I found us a bedroom in Harlem. The roommate is social and cheerful and vibrant. The neighborhood is personable. The subway is two blocks away.

We booked our flights, we paid our deposit, and, by the end of February, we were in New York.

And that’s the point.

Nothing revolutionary happened. No one sold a kidney. No one won the jackpot.

I just changed my perspective.

I stopped thinking about how frustratingly stuck we were, spinning our wheels in the Land of No Professional Networking Opportunities, and I started asking myself what the problem was and if there were any other ways to solve it.

So, just a quick reminder:

There are almost always options.

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8 Comments
  • Greg Turner
    March 15, 2018

    As I read this I thought, if she had posted a blog on her search for housing in a major city I probably would have responded “We have a house in Seattle with empty bedrooms, happy to host you or trade some help with website design for rent”. You do have options, and more friends than you think.

    • gigigriffis
      March 15, 2018

      That’s so nice! I posted on social media, but didn’t think to post here on the blog. Definitely something I should try next time. (Also, we still might make it to Seattle later this year depending how things go here for his business.)

      • Greg Turner
        March 15, 2018

        Keep me posted on your plans, but we do plan to list and sell the house this summer, as we plan to start traveling by the end of the year.

        • gigigriffis
          March 19, 2018

          Will do!

  • Clara Mae
    March 15, 2018

    I love this post! Well done for getting unstuck. How true, and how positive. It was just what I needed to hear, while trying to manage an intercontinental move with a big family, pets, and lots of details. I can do this. Thank you, Gigi!

    • gigigriffis
      March 15, 2018

      Thanks!

  • Pamela
    March 15, 2018

    Nothing has taught me to be mentally flexible more than cruising on a sailboat. We make plans but they may change at any time due to weather, hurricane damage, or boat issues.

    Your life of frequent travel has given you that mental flexibility. But it sounds like the feeling of being stuck blocked your brain for a little while. Glad you were able to find a good way to become “unstuck.”
    Pamela recently posted…When the Best Dog Training Is the Training That Doesn’t HappenMy Profile

    • gigigriffis
      March 15, 2018

      So true!

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