.One.
There are still geese in our pond. Huddled up and screeching all night long in the eerie green lights that are under our fountain. I like to think they’re Goose Teenagers who, instead of flying south with all the sane adult geese, have decided that DAMN THE MAN (err, GOOSE), because they don’t like all that flying. All that exertion. And, besides, what do the adults know anyway. They can’t even operate Facebook (err, Beakbook? Featherbook?).
.Two.
“Exactly. And how did they [the furies] drive people mad? They turned up the volume of the inner monologue, magnified qualities already present to great excess, made people so much themselves that they couldn’t stand it.” -The Secret History
.Three.
I still have so much old guilt. Guilt about not going out when I don’t feel up for it. Because then I’m letting people down. Guilt about not making other people happy. Guilt about wanting to be alone.
How does one overcome such feelings? Isn’t it okay to not feel up for things? To spend quiet nights indoors with a small happy puppy?
I’ve felt somewhat sick all year. So much so that it’s hard to tell what is sick, what is mental, what is sad and what is just tired.
One: No matter how self-absorbed and distracted geese appear to be, they all want to bite your head. And they know how to hunt in packs. Be cautious and alert at all times.
Two: Good job finally finding a book you like.
Three: I went to the Planetarium yesterday, and it seems astronomers agree with my crazy-people sources; the celestial bodies ARE lining up more satisfactorily for 2010. So give it time. It’s gonna be a good year.
I think it is definately ok to want to hang out with a small puppy instead of with people
Don’t be guilty about it, just do what makes you happy. Love you!!!
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