Gigi: I got a package in the mail with your name on it and also with “or current resident” on it. Because it was package-like, I thought you might want whatever it is. Because it said “or current resident” I thought it might be unsolicited. Would you like me to open said package and inspect contents and get back to you?

Relatively Dashing Roommate: Open the box and let me know. Thanks!

Gigi: AHAHAHAHA! It is totally a Depends men’s diaper for you to try out. I’ll hang onto it for you.

Relatively Dashing Roommate: What? That sounds like a practical joke.

Gigi: Don’t be in denial about your problem.

Not so Relatively Dashing now, are you?

Gigi: So, exciting thing: I’m going to Belize in a few weeks.

Mom: Oh, no.

Gigi: What? Why “oh, no?”

Mom: Mexico is really dangerous right now.

[Pause]

Gigi: Mom, Belize isn’t in Mexico. It’s a whole other country.

Mom: Oh.

Fast forward a week…

Mom: What’s new?

Gigi: Just getting ready for Belize.

Mom: But Mexico is really dangerous right now.

Gigi: Belize is not in Mexico. They’re still separate countries.

Fast forward one week…

Mom: But…Mexico…

Gigi: [Ripping out a bit of my hair] Mom, Belize and Mexico haven’t merged and become one country in the past two weeks. They are still totally separate places.

Mom: I’m bad at geography.

Gigi: I know.

This week I contributed a thing to the Matador Network’s Life section. It’s about Craigslist dating. You should probably read it.

How NOT to Date on Craigslist

You win.

Unique (read: superbly weird) search phrases that send this website traffic:

is ihop expensive
patron saint of tacos
angry pregnant
douchebag haircuts
sexy wooing
35555559
accidental male nudity
fairies legs
gigi fierce blog
jijibagrgble
naked romping
naked oops
raspberries for testosterone
speedo palm trees
spit bath girls
unshaven armpits

I’m pretty sure I’ve never written about unshaven armpits or raspberries for testosterone or jijibagrgble, but there you go.

It’s day one of the most amazing content strategy conferences in the country. Possibly also the world. Yesterday, on registration duty, I met a bunch of fantastic conference attendees and speakers. And today I’m spending the day in a workshop, alternately running a mic around the room and taking fierce notes about the workshop itself.

(If you are interested in conference notes, by the way, you should stop by my business blog. I’ll be posting some after the conference at some point).

I don’t have much else for you just now and I’m kind of busy having an awesome time at the conference, so please accept my apologies and a link to this totally awesome thing that’s really popular but that I just found out about.

Things that made me chuckle this week:

1. Mid-twenties you.

2. Except oops he’s dead.

3. Yay, I’m going to this place. And it will be AWESOME.

Without further ado, then, how I planned for my long-term travel:

Eight months ago…
I was sitting in my therapist’s office, talking about my options. I had my own business. I wanted to do something different (not business-wise, but everything else-wise). And we came up with a plan: what if, when my lease was up, I left the country and traveled for a while? Would I be able to sustain my business? Was that my heart’s desire?

I thought the answer might be yes and began planning. I would only plan about a month or two out. That way, if clients needed me, I could come back. If things went well, I could move forward.

This is when I started researching dog travel requirements and making plans.

Seven months ago…
I took the dog in for her international microchip. It was an easy out-patient procedure and not as expensive as I thought. Hoorah.

Four months before departure…
I found a friend who wanted to babysit my car. The perfect arrangement: she needed a car, I needed someone to cover insurance while I was gone.

I also asked a friend if I could store a few boxes in her basement. My goal is to fit everything I own into my car, so the boxes should be few and the storage easy. She said yes. Because she is awesome.

This is also about when I booked my rental in Edinburgh.

Two months before departure…
I gave my landlord advance notice of my departure, which worked out perfectly as he wanted to tear down the place this summer and rebuild his dream home.

This was also when I did a test pack–trying to fit everything into my gifted hiking backpack. I realized that there was no way it was going to fit, so I bought a bigger pack.

One month before departure…
I had my epic, multi-family yard sale and sold about half the things I wanted to sell. I also sold my couch and chair to a friend of a friend and sold my desk on Craigslist. About 90% of what was left from the yard sale was loaded into my car and carted down to Goodwill. The remaining 10% is on Craigslist, mostly waiting to sell.

This is also when I started changing my address. I put my parents address on my credit cards and other misc. organizations. I used my friend BonBon’s address for the DMV. And I asked another friend, out in California, if I could use her if I need a check deposited or to get bank notices.

About 20 days before departure…
I made a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. Most of my things were packed for storage and my appointments for dog paperwork and tapeworm treatment were made.

The week before departure…
I will head to the vet for the dog’s travel paperwork about a week before I leave, then head back to get the tapeworm treatment 24 hours before departure. I’ll also call the Manchester airport to let them know Luna is coming (you have to let them know at least 24 hours in advance), take all my storage stuff to my friend’s house, pack for the trip, toss any last things in the house (spices, jars I’m using as glassware, blanket), and head to the airport!

As you may know, last weekend was my Epic Yard Sale. Six “families” (read: single ladies who live alone). One large, half-mown yard. Hundreds of dollars of moolah earned. Woo hoo.

I was surprised at what did and didn’t sell. For example:

Sold: half a bottle of perfume, half a bottle of windex, used feather pillows, half-used roll of packaging tape, box of matches.

Not sold: hand-painted wine glass, full set of dishes and mugs, bedroom set, hand-painted wooden chest, nice black picture frames.

See? Kind of surprising that someone would buy half a bottle of perfume and not a full set of dishes and mugs, right?

C’est la vie, as they say.

And all that to say that there is still stuff for sale. That’s right, ladies and gents, YOU could be the proud owner of a lightly used bedroom set, hot curlers, a large blue and white dish set or a colorful mouse and mouse pad. Lucky you.

Just a few more things, a few more things…that must go before I’m gone. A few more tethers to be undone.

Days till I leave for Scotland: 21
Days till I leave for Minneapolis: 3
Items sold at the yard sale: half of infinity
Days spent in jury duty: 0 (thank God, thank God, thank God)
Things packed: Most of the things

Yep, you read that right: 21 days till I leave for Scotland. Which means three days till Minneapolis and 15 days till Luna gets her paperwork. I want to add another countdown, but I can’t think of one. So, feel free to add your own.

The photo above is the other package I was anxiously awaiting last week: a package full of promotional cards for my book. I am extremely excited that they’re here. And, in other book news, I’m extremely excited that the last round of edits is done as of Friday. Of course, I may decide to read through once more, but in theory it’s ready for formatting, which is what I’ll be doing in between paying projects this month.

Speaking of paying projects, have I expressed my gratefulness yet? My gratefulness that business is picking up again, that I’m 99% sure I’m going to get this big university contract that I am incredibly excited to be part of, that this week I’ve been courting two or three other really exciting projects. I am exceedingly relieved and grateful.

That’s where I’ll leave you for today: counting down the days and feeling grateful.