A few nights ago, just after we had enjoyed some fake French food with our real Frenchman, we headed to a cute wine bar just outside downtown Denver. We’d all had a glass of wine or two and our French friend was telling us about his experience (years ago) as an exchange student (high school) in Alabama.
(Of course, when he first said “Alabama,” about 10 minutes worth of Alabama jokes followed and he was forced to wait to recount his actual experiences. Unfortunately for Alabama, his experiences were just what we would have expected…being told “I don’t like them French people,” being forced to attend church whether he wanted to or not, causing a girl to burst into tears when he said he was unconvinced about God.)
This all led to an interesting conversation. Our Canadian friend had been living in rural Kansas for three weeks (working on just the type of do-gooder project that I love – but we’ll save that discussion for another time), so he had stories about passing billboards with forceful Christian messaging and so on and so forth. And of course our French friend had tons of stories from his time in Alabama (in a home he was eventually kicked out of because he refused to continue going to church): stories about hellfire and damnation and a pervasive fear across the Christian community (his response: “I want to live well because I want to live well, not because I’m afraid of hell”).
Then someone made a comment something like this: “that’s why I stay away from Christians.”
I was unspeakably sad. How is it that we’ve turned something so beautiful (a relationship with a personal God, a mandate to love thy neighbor, an unending spring of forgiveness) into something so ugly (a reputation for snap judgements and unbending legalism)?
And so now I am here–blogging and shaking my unseen finger at the Christian community. What a sad state of affairs! Your reputation is of pushiness and judgement and hellfire. It’s a reputation for not listening, for not having the facts to back yourself up, for making blanket statements and using confusing language that actually keeps people out of your circle while you’re trying to force them in.
It’s not a reputation for love. And isn’t “the greatest of these” love?
Shame on you, church. You’ve taken something beautiful and turned it into something no one can understand. You’ve taken the letter of the law and made it a barrier to people knowing who Jesus is.
The good news is this: somewhere in that conversation, someone mentioned Jesus. And I said that Jesus was someone we could probably all get along with. Hell, the religious folks of his time didn’t much like him either. He hung out with the tax collectors and the prostitutes. He taught people how to live and how to serve their God. But he didn’t marginalize them. He didn’t try to control them with threats. He loved them just because they were people and people are worth loving.
And everyone could agree on that.
It’s not Jesus we have a problem with. It’s the people who claim to represent him.
Which makes me think of the ten commandments, one of which (if you’ll allow me to put it in my own words) is thou shalt not be a religious asshole. Don’t say you serve God and act like a jerk. Learn to listen. Learn to love. Follow Jesus. Then, maybe, people will want to know more about what you believe.
I understand that not everyone in the church is like this (so don’t string me up). What I’m saying is this: the church doesn’t have a great reputation and it is supposed to be representing God. This is something that can be fixed, but not until we all learn a little humility. Not until we stop focusing on the stupid speck in our neighbor’s eye while we ignore the plank in our own.
You want the world to repent of their sins? How about we start with the church.
Hey,
I appreciated your post. One thing that was kind of strange was the “shame on you” along with calling people assholes. It seems to contradict the point you’re trying to make. I was also a little confused by the “you/your” and “I/we.” You seem to be writing from both perspectives. I just couldn’t tell if you were including yourself with people who can get it wrong, or if you were only on the accusing side. Of course, the point is true and makes sense. Christians are called to be a witness to what God has done in their lives, and should joyfully respond in love. I’m glad that you were able to give a hopeful and loving perspective to your friends. I hope that you will also be able to give that hopeful and loving perspective to “hellfire Christians.” They need Jesus just as much as everyone else.
Miss you, friend.
A lot of people do a lot of terrible things in the name of God. Some crash their planes into buildings while others beat a gay man senseless and tie him to a fence. I agree that the problem may lie in the followers. But now what do I do? I am choosing not to participate in organized religion until I can find one that really understands what it means to love and accept – no caveats, no exceptions. Just acceptance. (Uh, unless you’re a pedophile…)
Abraham Lincoln has been quoted as saying, “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad.” The man was clearly on to something.
Disclaimer: I was born and raised Roman Catholic.
Sam – I know what you mean. What a sad state of affairs.
Donna – The point was more “don’t be religious and an asshole, which makes God look bad.” Not so much “calling” anyone an asshole…and I don’t see the contradiction in that. There’s a verse in one of the prophetic books (I cannot remember for the life of me right now exactly where it is), that specifically talks about those who preach (aka. put it out there) and then live wrongly will be judged more harshly. This kind of thing is meant as a wake up call. People need to recognize where their pride is leading them.
Jesus drew thousands to himself. The church draws so little…
Good quote dealing with leadership. At least in James 3:1 it says that teachers are judged more strictly. I think that is a point that is often overlooked. Your response helped clear up some of my confusion. I was thinking contradiction through the “shame on you” and “asshole” because by using terms like those we rely on guilt and anger to change people. I think that your point was that guilt and anger never change people… which is awesome! Maybe I have a poor understanding of how you meant the “shame on you.” The only thing I think of with that phrase is that I should feel guilty for sucking at life. If your point is love (and not guilt) then “shame on you” works against that. Maybe that better explains what I was thinking of with the contradiction. I know you probably weren’t thinking that much into the language you were using, and I am not trying to disregard your point. Just trying to walk in faith alongside you, but I hope that we can mutually care for one another. And I hope that you’ll have grace for me- as I will you- for the times that we screw it up.
Well, I intended for the language to be a little harsh. The whole thing is meant to be a “snap out of it” plea. And I think in a lot of cases, people don’t even realize what they’re doing–which is scary. Sometimes we need a wake up call.
[...] Shame On You “Hell, the religious folks of his time didn’t much like him either. He hung out with the tax collectors and the prostitutes. He taught people how to live and how to serve their God. But he didn’t marginalize them. He didn’t try to control them with threats. He loved them just because they were people and people are worth loving.” [...]
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