Sunday: “I’d Be a Full”
9:32 AM Finally drag myself out of bed after a long battle with a small puppy, which had involved us going outside every hour since 7.
10:00 AM Enraged over a utility bill that is CLEARLY WRONG, before I realize they accidentally sent me my neighbors. Am still annoyed because I’m expected to pay this by tomorrow and the office isn’t open today to find out what I actually owe. Awesome.
10:35 AM Email Desmond Hume back again. Receive invitation to meet. So glad that some guys don’t play the back and forth for seven years game.
10:50 AM Read this email: you are very pretty but id be a full to put mi pic in the internet tex me and ill send you one you wont be desapointed
10:52 AM Contemplate the genius of men on Craigslist. And how right on that guy is…He would totally be a full.
10:57 AM Receive this email: do u masturbate ever? im short btw, like 5ft 3. i can send pics, cause im hott. Class and style. Class and style.
11:04 AM Think that I should have specified better in my CL ad. I offered bonus points for men who like dogs. But I should have told them that a Chihuahua doesn’t qualify as a dog. It falls into the rat family.
11:06 AM If you send a picture with your response and still feel the need to tell me you “look young” or are “hott,” it’s probably a bad sign.
11:13 AM Write to another scruffy, attractive man.
1:36 PM Clean my incredibly dusty bathroom. Somehow an hour later it will be dusty again.
1:47 PM Looks like this.
4:38 PM Wrapping presents and discussing the Not Merits of Mike’s Harder Lemonade at Beloved Roommate’s house.
8:00 PM Home and donning heels for my date with the Not Desmond Hume.
Hope your date was fun! Excited for more CL escapades stories:-)
Checking out the new site and liking it! Clean, mod and quirky–seems to suit you! In other unrelated news, what do you know about getting back at a hotel which gives its guests their first experience with bed bugs? I would very much like to know how best to kick some collective corporate asses. Suggestions?
Please send me the contact info for the two guys mentioned in this blog. What gems they both are! It’s an outstanding coincidence that I, also, am a hott full who likes texing, and they won’t be desapointed.
Love, RM1
Brief Darling: It was moderately disconcerting. I’ll tell you about it sometime.
Bri: Slam them via social media. The stats say that more people trust their friends’ social media recommendations than just about any other source. Do tell me said hotel’s name…
Roommate #1: I think they both live in the land of thinking that their idiocy might inspire response.
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