life done write

I’m standing with my hands outstretched and empty.

In this room, acoustics magnify the silence:

I never knew your leaving was only the beginning,

Only my beginning.

I kiss the floor just because it’s there;

I punch the door just because it’s there;

I never knew that there were two kinds of angels,

No one told me.

The lights are way too bright here:

I can see all my flaws but none of yours.

You blind me, you blind me,

And you’re not even here.

I’m standing with my heart outstretched and empty

In this room where I Love You is the gunshot

That shatters, batters, breaks everything.

You broke everything.

The lights are way too bright here:

I can see all my flaws but none of yours.

You blind me, you blind me,

And you’re not even here.

I kiss the door just because it’s there;

I punch the floor just because it’s there;

I never knew what you did and didn’t mean,

No one told me.

The lights are way too bright here:

I can see all my flaws but none of yours.

You blind me, you blind me,

You blind me, you blind me,

Oh, god, unbind me.

You’re not even here.

However hard we try, still we are like sand.

I couldn’t hold you, hold on to you–

If I did want to, if I didn’t want to.

Eventually, you’re out of pocket.

Whatever I may want, still we are costumes.

Play acting when I wasn’t play acting;

Covered when I was so very naked.

Leaves come and go just as quickly.

Hereafter may I know that still I am a map:

To Always Never, Never Always–

Something to look at when you’re lost.

Because some things are not.

For me, you are a synonym
of the place where never is never,
thimbles are interchangeable with kisses
and this heart beats mine, for now.

I began as a thousand pieces,
a thousand laughs, I skipped
until I found you second light to the right
and followed straight on to morning.

You began as youth and joy
(but unhappy thoughts can bring anyone down)
until, like a sparrow, you drew near to me
to hear the story that will always belong to you.

For me, you are a synonym
for sand in a pocket of worn jeans.
You are my happy thought
and these words are for you, always-always.

A poem I might have posted before, but have decided to post again.

Oceans apart, we stand too close together,
My hand in your hand; your hand on my heart.
I may have your wishes wrapped up in my mind,
But it wanders and I wonder and you wonder at that.

Sidling up to the seas in exaggerated effort,
With the questions at hand it’s too hard to discern–
Am I here to drown my  sorrows in you
Or to drown us both in my sorrows?

In the morning I know what isn’t true;
At night I know so shakily what is.
And I ask myself another question:
Which is the bigger of two wrongs?

To break the promises I have and haven’t made,
Nip and kiss the lips of the loss,
Mix bitter and sweet for fairness,
Betray either side and be marked?

When over is done, will relief come–
Peace can shelter or shatter a girl.
When truth is told by the truthless,
Is it still truth?

Irony calls to the questioning mind,
With a smirk so familiar and contrived:
Rights that would have been wrongs three years past,
Oceans I swam without maps (my own volition)–
Still, by not choosing, I choose.

Singing in the rain storm

tears kiss my cheeks

blending with the drops from heaven

Tears of a perfect sort

of love, and of romance

and of the pain which accompanies such things

The pain that I take

and feel over and over again

Like addictive things–chocolate and caffine

Because through the pain

is a feeling so devine

I can touch the stars with my fingers

and stroke a moonbeam

as my eyes sparkle

with childlike delight and mystery

and I sit down

in the middle of the street

and let the tears caress my cheeks

so painful the end of

a romance so sweet

And so many emotions stream out through my eyes

for moments and a time

curled in a ball

in the downpour of pain and my past

As the cold rain

washes the tears

from my face, and turns warm wet memories

into cold new feelings

Five and a half minutes

to wash away a loves-time of treasure

I will come back to this place

again soon–I know

and shed the unshed tears once again with my heart on the floor

And my mind’s refreshing

and my heart’s renewing

and the feelings fall out and hold me close

before they dissapear

into the starry sky

the clouds part to reveal something glorious

a new start, and a new heart

time comes with changes

and there are better things to come in the morrow