the ramble

*Title borrowed from the Cops theme song, which is, inexplicably, in my head. I am awesome.

It’s been a long time. I know. And I’m sorry. Well, more sorry for me than for you really. Because the reason I haven’t written, the reason I’ve been incommunicado and cranky and prone to short bursts of crying, is because I have Bed Bugs. Well, perhaps I should say had. Past tense. I have not gotten a bite in a week, which supports the past tense theory.

So, for those of you who are blissfully naive, let me tell you about bed bugs:

1. They bite you. They bite you all over. They bite you hard. They suck your blood and they leave enormous itchy welts all over your body. It’s very attractive and delightful. They’re my favorite animal.

2. They’re visible. Oh yes, they look like ticks. You can totally see them and–BONUS–you can also see inside their tiny bodies, where your blood fills their tummies. Yum.

3. They live everywhere. Apparently, they’re impossible to get rid of. I’ve already tossed most of my furniture, all of my luggage and a good bit of clothing/hats/accessories.

Oh, yes, my dearest darling readers. These delightful creatures, who live in your bed, your couch, your chairs, your clothes and your carpet–they are wonderful housemates. Not at all gross.

And being as they are not at all gross, the Cherry Creek Club does not seem to care that they’ve overrun my entire life. That’s right folks, shockingly, CCC is not paying for a damn thing, not giving me free rent, not even waiving final utilities or saying they are sorry. Even though their whole complex is, apparently, infested.

Have I mentioned before that you should NOT LIVE IN THE CHERRY CREEK CLUB?

So, what now? I was going to wait and go month to month a while and figure out where to move. But, alas, since the bugs are probably going to come back over from the neighbor’s house as soon as the treatment wears off, I’m off apartment and roommate searching every second of my life. Well, in between working too hard and doing laundry 1000837 times (an hour in the dryer kills the BBs–go dryer go!).

In summary, my life is delightful. Next week is my birthday. Happy freaking birthday to me.

Stuff I thought about today:

Dear Flickr, it is not my fault your system hates people trying to pay it. Give me back my damn Pro account. Love, Gigi

Cherry Creek Club still sucks. Air conditioning = broken. Weekend temperatures = 100s. Maintenance scheduler guy = confused.

Account Exec at work sent me a file called “HO-email.” HO apparently stands for homeowners. But I have spent 24 hours laughing anyway.

Why does everyone who hangs out at Starbucks in Glendale smell like they have been hunting on the Savannah and haven’t bathed in sixteen days?

Also, Cherry Creek Club is stupid.

Thing one: apparently the only cities in America that have Austrian restaurants are San Francisco and New York. This is stupid. Also, I blame Google.

Thing two: I want some Wiener Schnitzel. Please, dear God.

Thing three: after my post about forwards, Google thought it would be appropriate to put dump truck ads in my sidebar. It took me a long time to figure out this was because I mentioned the artillery-equipped garbage truck. Good job, Google.

Thing four: I’m off to eat Indian food, a sad second to my brilliant Austrian food plans.

.One.
I have never wanted junk food so much in my life.

All I can think about is ice cream and chips and cookies. “What do you mean you need me to write some headlines? Oh man, wouldn’t it be nice…ice cream, chips, cookies…

In light of that, I did spend some time at the grocery store today–purchasing sorbet, which is much closer to real food than ice cream. I then returned home to have chicken noodle soup (of which I ate too much) for dinner along with some chips (all natural, baby – hey, don’t judge) and natural salsa.

.Two.
I attribute my utter need to binge to a few important factors (without these things, my week of Eat Real Food would be so much easier–so much).
1. My Little Friend, The Rag, snuck up on me this week. This results in unhappy, eat-everything-in-sight times.
2. The stress level at my job after coming back from business trips is always a few points higher. This makes me alternately feel like eating nothing or eating everything.

.Three.
Also, I am cranky.

.One.
For the past 8 or so days, I have been battling with my first-ever case of strep throat. If I had known what it was, I would have gone to the doctor earlier. But, as it is, I took a few days of agony–waking up covered in sweat, being unable to swallow, taking 16 baths a day to fight off the chills–before I realized that this wasn’t just some sort of Flu which would pass on its own.

The day I went to the doctor was also the day that the ear infection started. Probably brought on by the strep, would be my guess.

So I spent another day (last Monday) thrashing in bed, sweating, crying and unable to focus.

Finally, the amoxicillin kicked in and, with a numb throat and no hearing in my right ear, it was back to work. Well, sort of. Of course, this meant totally overdoing it and spending that Friday again bedridden with one very confused dog, who wasn’t sure why we were not at work or, at the very least, awake in the middle of the day.

The problem I encountered after the meds started to kick in was this: incredible and overwhelming dizziness. Dizziness that still lives on today. Dizziness that means driving isn’t really an option. And that makes me wonder what my options are come Monday. Ugh.

Apparently this dizziness may be a side effect (albeit a rare one) of amoxicillin; or it may be caused by the ear infection, since your ears are the home of your equilibrium.

I tend to think it’s the amoxicillin, since I’ve had about 5897362 ear infections in my life and never remember this kind of dizziness, but I don’t think I’ve taken amoxicillin before and so have no dizzy or non-dizzy episodes to compare it to. The doctor thinks it’s the ear infection — but again I beg to differ.