life done write

Dear Man With the Amazing Smile,

What is the deal? Making a girl wait three whole days for an email. Maybe more. I’ve already wasted an hour of my life trying to stalk you online with the Very Little Information you provided about yourself.

Get on it already.

Love,

Gigi

P.S. If you do not get on it soon, I understand. Obviously it is because you like dudes. Good luck with that.

.One.
This weekend at Starbucks: met the world’s most attractive man. Mostly deemed so because of a kick-ass smile that made his eyes crinkle up in an adorable way. Also, nicely built. Also, amazing eyes. If said man does not email me soon, I am going to be considerably sad. And may try to stalk him online anyway.

.Two.
Feeling very freed up at the moment after finalizing most of the details of my later-this-summer Europe trip. Finalized details include two new shoe purchases specifically for the trip and two other new shoe purchases that I couldn’t resist. Oh yeah.

.Three.
Happiness is a much greater attractor than attractiveness. Or at least that’s been my experience. The less stressed I am, the more I get hit on. Thus the eight-month-long dry spell that coincided with being over-tasked at work. See? Also thus the exceedingly many pick-up lines used on me this weekend while I was happily plugging away at Switzerland planning and writing things I love.

.Four.
Yesterday, while out drinking at one of Denver least fine establishments (Falling Rock Brewery — mean, unresponsive staff, gross facilities), was hit on by a strange, drunk and frightening looking Asian man who was holding my married friend on his lap. Totally awesome. Also, said hitting on happened diagonally across a full table of about 10 people, causing everyone else to stop their conversations and listen to my awkward…”uh, no…I don’t have a boyfriend…uh…” Good freaking times.

.Five.
Did I mention the man with the amazing smile? Because I would like to snuggle him please. Thank you.

Dear Men of OK Cupid,

It is not acceptable to lead into your profile with any of the following:

A) A joke about semen.

B) A joke about dead babies.

C) Any useless acronyms (if you really find yourself so funny that you are LOLing at your first sentence, please go punch yourself in the face).

D) Any combination of the above three.

Thank you,

A Very Annoyed Gigi Who Wishes She Had Not Wasted Her Time Reading Even the First Sentence of Your Profile And Also Wants You To Know That It Is Shocking You Don’t Already Have a Girlfriend. Just Shocking.

Wow. And to top all of this wonderfulness off, his email alias is Joe Niswonger. If that’s really his name, 1) I will eat my shoe and 2) I blame his parents.

hey i saw your craigs add. i think ive got something you artichoke on.
hit me back.
thanks.

.One.
Seeing someone leave a glowing review on LinkedIn for the second most incompetent person I’ve ever worked with makes me feel that LinkedIn reviews are not to be trusted. Check that off the list of things that matter in a job interview.

.Two.
A picture of a Super Cute (yes, intentional caps) puppy drew me (against my will–I might add) to click on a gentleman’s profile on OK Cupid only to discover that he himself was rather frightening looking. Oh, man. Fooled by the puppy again.

.Three.
In a conversation about whether or not to include certain people in my book (people who may or may not have favorable portrayals): “Well, I guess I could just go for it and wait for the onslaught of hate mail. When the onslaught comes, I’ll just keep posting it to my blog. In fact, I’ll set up an email for them that directly posts to the blog. And if they ever want to save face again, they’ll have to cease and desist with the hate mail. I think is a recipe for hate mail to eventually stop.”