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And What Job Would You Like, Young Man?
Posted on August 13, 2011 in ridiculousThis morning I took my car to the car wash–a long overdue task. And while I was sitting there with Luna reading my book and minding my own business, a man walked over.
He was somewhat handsome, though wearing dirty cutoff clothes, and started out with some easy questions, like what kind of dog is Luna and did I just get her groomed. We chatted for a moment, and then the big old sign on my forehead that says “PLEASE BE AS CRAZY AS POSSIBLE” appeared (as it always does).
First, he started to gain momentum on the topic of unemployment. You see, he’d had a hard, hard last few years. And once you’ve been out of work for a while, it gets harder. And, really, should it get harder? Shouldn’t he be able to land a job, any job?
Yes, I agreed. I’m not sure why you can’t land a job.
He kept going: saying that if you didn’t have a permanent address, no one would give you a job. He was sleeping at the homeless shelter, he said. So how is he supposed to get a job?
I suggested that he make a friend and give that friend’s address. Employers aren’t magic; they don’t know that you don’t own the house.
Then I politely asked what kind of job he’d like.
“Making babies,” he answered.
After a long pause, I offered, “oh.” And he went on to explain how he didn’t have any kids and would really like some.
I refrained from pointing out that having kids usually requires you to A. also have a lady-type who would like to sleep with you and B. also requires that you support said kids. Also, having kids usually doesn’t pay well. Just sayin’.
I will take this whole interaction as a sign that I’m having a good hair day.
That’s all.
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This made me laugh out loud. Favorite part: “…then the big old sign on my forehead that says “PLEASE BE AS CRAZY AS POSSIBLE” appeared…”
There are just some people in this world that seem to attract crazy ass people like this gentleman. I CANNOT believe he wants to make babies for his job! This makes me consider (yet again) why we can’t have some sort of litmus test for those who wish to procreate.
Congrats on the new draft of the book! Can’t wait to read it again…
I applaud Brianna’s stand on the Procreation Litmus Test.
I would also support a law that allows for sever punishment of men who harass women at gas stations. It’s unfortunately popular in California.
*severe
You made me laugh out loud as well. I’m pretty convinced I have several friends who have that sign on their forehead. Though I do have a friend who has THAT sign and a “Only men with dietary constraints need apply.” She went from a gluten allergic BF to a diabetic.
One of my friends has that + a sign that says “please take your clothes off. Now.” She even had a man on a bus once take his shirt off and offer it to her.
[...] did this for a few reasons, like: – I probably shouldn’t wear things with stains or holes, as I attract homeless men – I own my own business and should probably try to look like a grown up (thus, all the stuff I [...]